it’s been a year since I left my old job. most of my department left at the same time. we were a tight group. we had fun (bellini fridays aren’t likely to be common at many other workplaces) we watched the family that was our newspaper go through massive changes, bankruptcy, buyouts, layoffs, and i think that made us even closer. these are people i spent 7.5 hours a day 4-5 days a week with. the term “workplace husband” comes to mind (although I don’t have a home husband either so…) i spent more time, shared more of my life with these people than probably any of my friends. they were there when i came back from the dr after tearing up my knee and thought i’d never put on skates again. they were there as i plotted and planned big adventures, they got just as excited as i did. They got excited about the dorky stuff I did, and we celebrated even the smallest of events with… cupcakes, grill cheese, pancakes, the battle of the Finnish and Russian NHL players (to be  noted that of coarse Finland won) just to name a few.

i miss those ladies.

a year later, i kind of realize it was like going through a breakup. I didn’t just leave my job, i moved cities, left my old life behind. and it hasn’t been an easy journey. it’s not like moving cities, moving across the country is probably a lot like moving out of the country when it comes to Canada. friends in my new (insert background filler: I grew up just outside of Toronto – moved to Vancouver – lived there for 15 years – and moved back to Toronto) city don’t get it. my friends in my old city, well we don’t see each other everyday and it changes the relationship. i admit i’m feeling lost and not myself.

you can’t really go home after being away so long.

but life is all about change, more importantly it’s about how you deal with and what you take from change. I’m still learning this. I don’t have access to the restless mind quieting mountain forests. This has been the hardest adjustment. Sometimes a girl just needs to just be left alone and get lost in the woods.

So I’ll be celebrating on March 24th with bellini’s to finally close the door on my BC adventures – thanks to ingredients lovingly mailed from one of those thoughtful BC friends when I first moved back (yeah I KNOW but I was saving them for a super special occassion . And the day after I’ll be laying plans to get the hell out of Toronto for some Scandinavian living. One day I’ll find the city that feels like home to me (Iceland has just been added to the growing list of potential areas). For now I’ll just hope that 2013 brings more snow and focus on channeling all those restless thoughts into awesome art for you to enjoy!